When even leaving a note is too direct…you folks with wireless networks still named “linksys” or “trendnet” are clearly missing out on a priceless opportunity to piss off your neighbors...

A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.

Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter 'penis.'

Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer's response:

PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH!

Pat Robertson once said,
"It's a long downward slide
That'll lead to legalizing sex with ducks
If two men can stand side by side"

God, I hope he's right
'Cause if gay marriage becomes lawful
Gonna find myself a duck
And legally do
Something awful (awful, awful)

Ducks, sex with ducks
We'll do it in the rain
Ducks, yeah, ducks
Got those wet feet on my brain
We'll find a pond, we'll find a puddle
Put your beak in mine and we'll cuddle
It's a feeling I can't name...

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,…

'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!....................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. ..............'Get your own f#%+ing blanket.'

After a moment of silence, .......................he farted.

The End