The first, most important thing for you to know is this; women can smell fear -- and they run away from it. When you're trying to pick up a girl, whether it's for a one-night stand or because you think she might be the love of your life, the most powerful thing you can do is to be unafraid of either failure or success.

The flip side of this is that self-confidence is your best friend. As we discussed in How To Be Sexy, women can smell self-confidence too -- and they go for it like cats for catnip. It doesn't much matter exactly why you're self-confident; it could be because you're an alpha male in some hierarchy, or it could be because you've encountered the woman in a setting where you are functioning at your best and you know it, or it could even be because you just took the right recreational drugs.

"But Eric," I hear you ask, "I'm a beta male, and I'm standing around at some stupid party, and I am neither tipsy nor stoned. How do I become self-confident enough not to smell of fear?" I can answer in two words: fake it.

I realize that this goes against all the standard advice you get from the usual well-meaning people, who will begin and end with "be yourself". If yourself is chronically inept with attractive women, this advice sucks. You need to learn method acting. At that party, watch guys who are chatting up women effectively. Imitate them. Don't worry too hard about replicating their mental states or understanding why they do what they do; if you do their moves understanding will happen naturally over time. Play the role of confident person until you become it.