16 Nov 2005 @ 00:35
Bonnie writes the blog My Bottom Smarts. Great name. You can maybe guess what it's about. Here's the start of one of the stories she has to tell:The story begins last Saturday. My Prince Charming was motivated to pursue what appeared to be a minor home improvement project. I inquired about his purpose, but an evil grin was the only response I received.
Randy took his trusty tool box and set up shop in our previously clean bedroom. From downstairs, I heard all of the usual drilling, hammering, and cursing, but still had no clue what was afoot. Finally, after about twenty minutes, Randy called me to see his creation. When I looked, I was astonished. The plaster dust on the bedspread was no great surprise, but then I spotted a large metal hook emerging from the ceiling immediately above the center of our bed.
For a moment, I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or scream. My first thought dealt with erotic torture. Done right, I could probably embrace that concept. My second thought, spoken aloud as it entered my consciousness was “What will our friends and family think?” Randy’s suggested rationalization was that it was for a planter.
“Randy, have you ever seen anyone hang a planter directly above a bed?”
“Well, no. But I don’t pay much attention to that decorating stuff.”
I couldn’t decide whether to be thrilled or exasperated. Either way, we now have a big old hook in our ceiling.
Last night, we finally found both the time and the energy to test this new labor saving device. Randy instructed me to strip and lie face down on the bed. I compiled. He gently lifted my head and placed a scarf over my eyes. He tied it behind my head, effectively cutting me off from the world of illumination.
For the next several minutes, I heard drawers opening and closing. I heard Randy go downstairs at least once to retrieve something. I could feel various items being tossed onto the bed beside me. When I tried to feel for them, I was informed that I must stay in place.
So there I was, naked and blindfolded on the bed. Awaiting my fate. A little intrigued. A little bored. A little nervous. A little cold. But very unsure of what would happen next....
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