1 “I’m getting into heaven ‘cause I’ll just suck off St. Pete.”

2 “You are not the first girl to snort cum.”

3 “Um…I hid like 2 g’s from myself and I can’t find it.”

4 “Can I lick coke off your clit? Please?”

5 “I can’t suck strangers dick without permission. Hang on and I’ll call and ask.”

6 “Do you need help stretching out your asshole?”

7 “I need to see more tongue actually going in the butt.”

8 “I need you to suffocate him with your breasts.”

9 “I accidentally put your speed through the drier.”

10 “Kiss me. I have morphine in my teeth.”

11 “Your ass opened up like a crater. We all looked away, but your friends cheered.”

12 “Oops. I just pooped on your carpet.”
“That’s why I don’t have a dog.”

13 “Do you want to eat the cum out of her ass or off her face?”

14 “She will trade you coke for the pills.”
“Do you think she will do anal for them?”

15 “I haven’t had a nice poop in like 2 weeks.”
“You never appreciate your poop until it’s gone.”

16 “So we have a black midget with a 91/2 inch cock?”

17 “Don’t use that toilet paper. The good toilet paper is over there.”
“Good toilet paper?”
“Ya, it sticks to your pussy less.”

19 “We started with white ones, then pink, but we were the only two who took the brown ones, so I think they are the ones that made us puke.”

20 “Honey, don’t do lines on the floor. Everyone can see under the stall.”

21 “The vibrator slipped loose and got stuck in her ass. She had to go to the ER and have it surgically removed.”

22 “I can’t believe you actually thought 5 guys peed on you! It was only 3.”

23 “I need you to not pound her so hard so I can get my dick in her ass.”

24 “I was there for like 20 minutes and no one offered me drugs, so I got pissed and left.”

25 “Leave your shirt off. I don’t wanna have to tip the delivery boy.”

26 “I think someone should give the limo driver a BJ. He’s been so nice.”