6 Nov 2007 @ 03:21
Cracked:We don't want to make light of mental disorders or its sufferers, but you have to admit sometimes a person can be just mentally ill enough to be cool. After all, chicks totally dig troubled guys.
Now, when we say "troubled," we're not talking about that one naked dude on the subway who constantly masturbates and can only talk in machine code. No, we mean the complex and difficult soul, present in 70 percent of Oscar-winning movies, who spends two hours battling against his inner demons while being submerged up to neck level in pussy. You can be that guy, if only you’re lucky enough to contract an inconvenient and traumatic brain condition.
Here are 5 such disorders that might just be cool enough to get you laid...
Foreign Accent Syndrome
This very rare condition arises as a result of a stroke or head trauma in which the brain's speech center is damaged, causing the sufferer to regain consciousness with a totally different accent. In addition, some people pick up a "bizarre intonation." We're not sure what this means, but we're guessing it's how you would sound if you tried to have a conversation while being enthusiastically fellated.
Will it get me laid?
Foreign accents immediately make you more interesting and exotic to the opposite sex, even if you're a fat, balding IT tech with a cubicle papered in Battlestar Galactica posters. The trouble is, you don't know which accent you're going to get. Some (Irish, for example) are business-class tickets to vaginatown, whereas others make you want to claw your own ears off and then eat them....
|
|