That portion of a woman that appeals to man’s depravity
Is constructed with considerable care,
And what appears to you to be a simple little cavity
Is really an elaborate affair.

And doctors of distinction who’ve examined these phenomena
In numbers of experimental dames,
Have made a list of all the things in feminine abdomena,
And given them delightful Latin names.

There’s the vulva, the vagina, and the jolly perinium;
The hymen (which is found in many brides),
And lots of little gadgets you would love if you could see ‘em:
The clitoris and lord knows what besides.

What a pity then it is, that when we common people chatter
Of the mysteries to which I have referred,
We should use for such a delicate and complicated matter
Such a very short and unattractive word.