Great sex requires attention to detail. It should be a time when thought ceases and sensation reigns. One reason being with my lover is more sexually satisfying then being with my husband is that when I am with Victor, in those short hours, the rest of the world drops away. I am fully present, perhaps because in the urgency of seeing each other I innately realize that this present moment is the only one we have and so I truly cherish it. The truth is each and every present moment is the only one we are guaranteed and should be just as cherished as those precious hours with my lover. The trick for me, and I suspect for most of us who bring too many stressors into the bedroom, is to be able to do the same with my spouse. Maybe I should start by tuning everything else out when my husband takes my sore foot in his hand and by asking him to do the same. It may be a tiny start, but we all have to begin somewhere...