Women don't like explosions, in art or in life.

Women aren't as funny as men. We're often cleverer, frequently wittier, but to be really funny demands a certain clownishness that our grace just does not allow. It's fine, really it is.

We grow pathetic goatees and look awful in cargo shorts anyway.

Women are aware of about 10 percent of the things men actually think and say about us. Best to keep it under five.

Women love to be taken out to eat. It makes our day.

A clean apartment will get you more tail than you'd think...