The Vampire Formula: What Women See In Them1 comment
27 Aug 2010 @ 02:36

Cracked:
Let’s shed a little educated light on the resurgence of this whole “Vampire Romance” genre. Now, before you justifiably click away, assuming I’m going to start talking about Twilight, let me assure you: This is not about Twilight. This is about vampires. Twilight is not a vampire book, it’s Hello Kitty caliber softcore pornography for First Level Goths. It is entirely unconnected to the true resurgence of the vampire, present in anything from True Blood to The Vampire Diaries to Anne Rice to Being Human and on and on. No matter how effeminate, emotional, romantic or just unabashedly gay the shows, movies, and novels featuring the modern vampire might be, they do undoubtedly contain actual vampires. Not pallid fairies that glitter when you tickle their anus: Vampires. They’re back. But why?...



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27 Aug 2010 @ 03:53 by Dovi Agon : Why vampires are back
Not to put too fine a point to it, but original vampire stories are rather gruesome and terrifying. The new ones just go for ultimate 'Pavlov' reaction, except not with the salivatory glands, if you get my drift.
The last one with at least somewhat of a wink to that was 'van Helsing' but it also already was obviously flirting with teenagers to vie for their violent side of attraction.
My (then) thirteen year old (son) was completely into 'Underworld' until kissing and boinking came into the picture in 'Underworld Evolution', which grossed him out Emperially and there my eleven yearl-old (daughter) perked up in obvious interest and who seemed very likewise Emperially excited by it. (Nope, I did not check. I'm rather conventional where it comes to that, but I do help out with doing laundry, once and again.).
Both have by now a Yearning/projectile-regurgitation-urge attitude towards the moist and limpish modern attempts to recreate the Vampire thing and still like the (black-and-white) originals much more. I anything, they like the spoofs on it.
Somehow that makes me proud of, and hopeful for them.



The new ones are just so much more (schmaltzy, but Hey! Who could ever accuse (pre)+teenagers of any taste whatsoever) soft and essentially erotogenic.  

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