Hi, I'm the webmaster Akira, and my partner is Yuko. We are Japanese, 30s, and have been swinging for about four years. In Tokyo, it's getting tougher for English speaking swinger couples to find a space where they can find other couples. I could see many English speaking couples in swinger clubs in Roppongi few years ago, but not any more. The reasons are I guess 1)too many clubs have been opened and also people have started to organize private parties using websites and people have been scattered to different places. Besides, most of the party websites are written in Japanese, and it makes difficult for English speakers to get information. 2)As the Japanese economy sinks, English speaking population has decreased. My party is definitely the best choice in Japan, but I'm now only inviting young and selected couples. Maybe I should organize a different type of party, in which I invite anybody including single guys.

If you're feeling brave, look for someone who appears comfortable with themselves and the environment. A veteran swinger can offer endless tips and share all sorts of valuable information. Start out by introducing yourself and admitting your inexperience. Most experienced players will be eager to share a kernel of wisdom or two.

Now, you could easily follow all these instructions and manage to alienate your fellow sexual adventurers. You also want make sure you aren't the irritating guy, either. Making conversation is a smart move, and event at a sex party, personal questions aren't completely off base. You should, however, still be tactful. You probably don't want to start off with, "So, are those real?" Most women can appreciate a compliment, but "Hey, nice ass!" won't endear you to anyone. Try something more subtle. Manners and respect will take you far.

Once you feel comfortable, you can become more of a participant. The most important piece of advice is probably: don't ever assume that hot chick over there is just waiting for you to grab her ass. No one likes to be gratuitously groped.

And that couple fucking on the couch probably isn't interested in having you and your wanking cock inches from their ears. Or listening to your heavy breathing. Or your running commentary. If you're a voyeur, stand at a respectable distance and watch, quietly. They aren't at a swing party for privacy. If they like the looks of you, perhaps they'll motion you over to join them. But never jump right in.

If you should suddenly find yourself in the midst of actual sex, try to contain your excitement and behave yourself. Take things slowly. Ask permission, or wait for a nod of approval, before every move. Kisses and caresses work best when you're the new person.

If things escalate, you should definitely play safe. Bring condoms with you, just in case the party doesn't provide them. Any penetration at all should be done with protection, as should any genital contact. Surgical gloves and dental dams are always a good idea if you're having sex with strangers.

If the party starts to get stale, or people seem nervous about moving to the next step even if you can tell they want to, just go grab yourself an empty bottle and get everyone in a circle. Tell them you're going to play a couple of classic games combined. What you do is you basically alternate rounds of Spin the Bottle and Truth or Dare.

Here's how it works:

Start with the person to your left, and place everyone with all the men together and all the women together. (This is important, and you'll see in a second) The person to your left starts and spins the bottle. That person has to kiss the person that the bottle points to. Here are the alternate rules that we use to even things out and make it more fair. If a guy spins a girl, he kisses the girl. If a girl spins a guy, she kisses the guy. If a girl spins a girl, she kisses the girl. If the guy spins a guy, he loses a turn. The bonus is, in exchange for having to lose a turn, is that if a guy spins between two girls, he gets to kiss both girls at the same time! (Just as a side note, we are in no way homophobic, but some swingers are, so we never bring up the situation of guys having to kiss at our parties. You can certainly modify the rules to fit your situation.)

Now, once the turn comes back around to you, you take your turn, then you announce that it's time for a round of Truth or Dare. We use the house rules that you can't take more than two truths in a row, and all dares must take place inside the house. Other than that, all bets are off, and we just work out way up to steamier dares as people get more and more comfortable.

Trust me, this works. We've had newbie couples over, and wound up having an awesome time. It works especially well if there happens to be more than one couple, and one or two non-swingers in the group who are curious, but won't admit it. Obviously play at your own risk, but I think if you give it a try, you'll find that you'll have a great time.